Parenting Skills
Parenting Skills with Step Children
1. Parenting 101 is that you and your spouse are on the same page and give a united front towards your teen or tween. If you disagree iron out your differences before you present guidlines to your child.
2. The biological parent should usually give the rules and discipline. The child will always love the natural parent, but will possibly resent, complain, and accuse the step parent who tries to implement rules.
3. Put the marriage first not necessarily each of you first. What is best for the marriage vs what is best for you individually.
4. The biological parent is usually more sensitive to the biological child so listen to his/her ideas because he or she knows the child’s heart. That being said, the biological parent can also be more easily manipulated and teens are unbelievably successful in manipulation. Yes they will lie and yes they will say things in order to hurt and or guilt the parent.
5. Both parents should agree on the rules, but depending upon the situation only the biological parent needs to discuss without wavering to the teen what the rules are.
6. Manipulation is the biggest issue that teens do very well.
7. It is scary to think that you may lose the relationship with your teen or tween for a short time, but sticking to what is best for them is really loving them more than you love yourself.
8. Every parent fears that their child may commit suicide or hurt themselves if they don’t have the relationship or don’t do as the child wants. However, enabling is NOT helping. You are prolonging negative behaviors that will increase vs decrease. God deals with everyone, but only the desperate deal the God.
9. Sometimes kids have to hurt and have the consequences they need. It’s more than rules. It’s them learning that their actions do have consequences and because you love them you will implement and follow through.
10. Yelling and threatening do not work. Only sticking to the plan and being consistent works.
Every child and every situation is different and the above tools can be tweaked. If you feel like your child/young adult is suicidal in any way or has a plan, please get help right away.
The relationship with your child is important and developing that relationship is a great goal. However, it does not mean you give up consequences or do not follow through on disciplinary actions.
If you have a specific problem and you would like to set up an appointment, please call Christian Counseling of Sarasota at 870-935-4102. Remember these are only guidelines as your situation, age of the child and circumstances may warrant different actions.
Laura Hodges, LPC, NCC
About us
Laura Hodges, LPC, NCC
Laura Hodges is a Licensed Professional Counselor and the founder of Christian Counseling of Arkansas. She received her Master’s Degree as well as her Advanced Counseling Degree from Regent University in Virginia. Laura has vast experience in counseling individuals and couples. Previously a lead therapist for the Meier Clinic Day Program in Virginia, Laura designed and was responsible for many of its group therapy programs.
Laura is passionate about the integrity of the marital relationship and is committed to helping couples build a solid foundation for a strong and loving marriage. She helps couples manage conflict, strengthen their emotional connection and build a solid friendship.
Many issues in life are related to masked feelings that need to be identified. Laura can help clients get to the root of underlying many negative behaviors. She specializes in counseling individuals with issues of co-dependency, depression, anxiety, sexual issues, obsessive-compulsive disorder, anger issues, eating disorders and women’s issues. One of Laura’s missions is to restore unity to the marriage using Biblical principles and tried counseling tools to bring increased intimacy and happiness to marriage.
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Laura Hodges, Licensed Professional Counselor
Laura Hodges is a Licensed Professional Counselor and has worked for Meier Clinic in Virginia as the lead therapist for their Day Program. She designed and was responsible for many of the group therapy programs at Meier Clinic.
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Christian Counseling Blog
Helpful articles on grief, marriage, depression, co-dependency and Christian Counseling to help guide you in the right direction.
Parenting Skills
Parenting Skills with Step Children
1. Parenting 101 is that you and your spouse are on the same page and give a united front towards your teen or tween. If you disagree iron out your differences before you present guidlines to your child.
2. The biological parent should usually give the rules and discipline. The child will always love the natural parent, but will possibly resent, complain, and accuse the step parent who tries to implement rules.
3. Put the marriage first not necessarily each of you first. What is best for the marriage vs what is best for you individually.
4. The biological parent is usually more sensitive to the biological child so listen to his/her ideas because he or she knows the child’s heart. That being said, the biological parent can also be more easily manipulated and teens are unbelievably successful in manipulation. Yes they will lie and yes they will say things in order to hurt and or guilt the parent.
5. Both parents should agree on the rules, but depending upon the situation only the biological parent needs to discuss without wavering to the teen what the rules are.
6. Manipulation is the biggest issue that teens do very well.
7. It is scary to think that you may lose the relationship with your teen or tween for a short time, but sticking to what is best for them is really loving them more than you love yourself.
8. Every parent fears that their child may commit suicide or hurt themselves if they don’t have the relationship or don’t do as the child wants. However, enabling is NOT helping. You are prolonging negative behaviors that will increase vs decrease. God deals with everyone, but only the desperate deal the God.
9. Sometimes kids have to hurt and have the consequences they need. It’s more than rules. It’s them learning that their actions do have consequences and because you love them you will implement and follow through.
10. Yelling and threatening do not work. Only sticking to the plan and being consistent works.
Every child and every situation is different and the above tools can be tweaked. If you feel like your child/young adult is suicidal in any way or has a plan, please get help right away.
The relationship with your child is important and developing that relationship is a great goal. However, it does not mean you give up consequences or do not follow through on disciplinary actions.
If you have a specific problem and you would like to set up an appointment, please call Christian Counseling of Sarasota at 870-935-4102. Remember these are only guidelines as your situation, age of the child and circumstances may warrant different actions.
Laura Hodges, LPC, NCC
A LITTLE SOMETHING ABOUT US
We offer counseling services for all age groups and many areas of difficulties. Our Christian Counselors work from a solid understanding of God's word and a personal walk with Christ.
RECENT POSTS
Teen Depression
Counseling for New Moms
Tips for Successful New Year’s Resolutions
Tips on Communicating with Your Spouse
Expectations
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A LITTLE SOMETHING ABOUT US
We offer counseling services for all age groups and many areas of difficulties. Our Christian Counselors work from a solid understanding of God's word and a personal walk with Christ.
RECENT POSTS
Teen Depression
Counseling for New Moms
Tips for Successful New Year’s Resolutions
Tips on Communicating with Your Spouse
Expectations
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